gakuen heaven 2

Yagami route translation

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the next day (continued)

*time passes*

Yuki: Phew...
Yuki: Well, good job everyone.
music club member: Thanks for helping us even with cleaning up.
music club member: Um... even though Omi caused you trouble...
Yuki: It doesn't matter anymore. The instruments were found safe.
Yuki: Yagami too... He didn't say anything about it and put away the instruments and stuff, didn't he?
Yuki: So I think it's okay.
music club member: I hope so...
music club captain: Hey! Music club members, gather around for a bit.
Yuki: Oh, they're calling you.
music club member: Yeah. Then see you later, student council president.
Yuki: Yes. Thanks for the hard work.
Yuki: Phew.
Yuki: It should be okay, huh.
Yuki: Yagami... I wonder if he's okay...
Yuki: After Shun-kun left, I haven't talked to him.
Yuki: He was acting a little strange then...

Yagami: I'll be fine.

Yuki: The face he made didn't look like he'd be fine.
Yuki: Anyway, the club room, the club room. I hope Yagami is there.

(club wing)
Yuki: It's locked. I guess there's no one here.
Yuki: I wonder if Yagami went back to the dorm.
Yuki: Or maybe...

Yuki: Bingo.
Yuki: I knew he was here.

CG: Yagami with headphones
Yuki: Yagami... you're wearing headphones again.
Yuki: Why do you look so sad?
(Yuki: You played the violin, and Shun-kun left with a smile on his face...)
(Yuki: Is there still something else bothering you?)
(Yuki: The violin case is on the bench next to him. He did go and get it back.)
Yuki: After all, I wonder if I was meddling, telling him to play the violin all of a sudden...
(Yuki: I want Yagami to play his instrument with a smile.)
(Yuki: I want him to let me hear those sounds again.)
(Yuki: Is it bad that I think that...?)
Yuki: Yagami...
end CG

Yagami: Oh it's you, Asahina.
Yuki: Sorry. Did I interrupt?
Yagami: Not really.
Yagami: I was just spaced out.
Yuki: I see...
(Yuki: Yagami really is depressed.)
(Yuki: He's trying to act like usual, but somehow..)
(Yuki: Even though he was so excited on stage, why...?)
(Yuki: Why is Yagami so sad...?)
Yuki: Can I sit next to you?
Yagami: Yeah.
Yuki: ...
Yuki: Hey. I'm glad the music festival was a hit.
Yagami: Seems like it.
Yuki: When you went to you get your instrument, you told me to watch the rest of the acts, right?
Yuki: I saw them all the way till the end.
Yagami: How was it?
Yuki: It was good!
Yuki: The dance association's tap dance was perfect and it was really impressive.
Yuki: And the bands from other schools all made unique impressions.
Yuki: I guess I'd say the harmony was beautiful in the music club's string ensemble that went last. It was really wonderful.
Yuki: I'm really glad I heard it!
Yagami: This time, it was an achievement for the music club through honest hard work.
Yuki: Yeah... To tell you the truth, I had kind of doubted the music club.
Yuki: When your instruments went missing, I thought maybe they had hidden them.
Yuki: Well. The music club was always holding a grudge against the light music appreciation group, right?
Yuki: So I thought maybe they were trying to harm us.
Yuki: Haha. What a terrible misunderstanding.
Yuki: I'm embarrassed.
Yagami: Well, you couldn't help making that kind of mistake. They were always picking fights with us.
Yuki: Yeah...
Yagami: They're very proud, but they're not the kind of guys who would try to lay traps.
Yuki: Wow...
Yagami: You don't believe me?
Yuki: I guess I'm just a little surprised to hear those kinds of words coming out of your mouth.
Yagami: Ha. Keep on blabbing.
Yagami: Anyway, would hurting us, or destroying the light music appreciation group do them any good?
Yagami: It wouldn't.
Yuki: But, when you were in the music club, you got good results and the club budget was increased, wasn't it?
Yuki: If the light music appreciation group disappeared, maybe you would come back and then the music club's budget would go up again.
Yuki: I guess you haven't considered it?
Yagami: It's true that if some club member makes a good showing, the club budget is increased.
Yagami: But that someone doesn't have to be me.
Yuki: Huh...
Yagami: They should get achievements for themselves, not rely on someone else.
Yagami: They're the ones who haven't considered it.
Yuki: Oh... I see. You're right.
Yagami: Anyway, with music, if you don't keep having the confidence that you're the best, you can't do it, you know?
Yuki: That you're the best, huh.
Yagami: Yeah. You can keep playing, every single day, the instrument that makes you feel 'this is the one for me!'
Yagami: Even guys like that, who've been playing in class or a club since they were kids, are a dime a dozen, you know?
Yagami: I'm different from them. I have a special sound only I can express.
Yagami: In a world where there's thousands who could replace you, if you don't have at least that much confidence, you can't keep doing it.
Yuki: That's incredible...
Yuki: I've never been dedicated to anything that way before.
Yuki: Even singing is just for fun and I've never thought of competing against someone.
Yagami: Your singing doesn't have any weird mannerisms and that honesty is what's good about it.
Yagami: But if you continued, you'd get stuck up pretty soon.
Yuki: Would I?
Yagami: If you decided 'this is how it's done.' And every time, you'd get your pride shoved back where it belongs.
Yuki: ...I'll pass. I don't have talent like you and I have the feeling it won't just be my pride that gets shoved.
Yagami: Just so you know, I'm not saying I've never worried about your sound at all.
Yuki: I see.
Yuki: After all, music is tough.
Yuki: I've only listened to it before, so I haven't considered it like that.
Yuki: But, you're right.
Yuki: Listening to music gives people enjoyment, tears, comfort. It's something that moves people, right?
Yuki: So as much power as it has, there's like pressure, kind of...
Yuki: The more serious you are about it, the more worries there are.
Yagami: Yeah. That's right.
Yuki: Yeah...
Yuki: Still, you do like the violin, don't you?
Yuki: You're going to continue with it from now on, right?
Yagami: ...
Yuki: ...I want you to.
Yagami: I see.
Yagami: I like the guitar. I also like listening to music.
Yagami: But, as for the violin...
Yuki: As for the violin?
Yagami: Who knows.
Yagami: It's always been like that. I never played feeling I liked or hated it.
Yuki: Oh, but...
Yagami: When I held the violin, those kinds of feelings in me vanished.
Yagami: I just became a vessel to create sound.
Yuki: Is that different from when you play the guitar?
Yagami: Totally. It's not the same as you, but when I play the guitar, it makes me feel 'this is way fun!'
Yagami: I want to show off and get obsessive even with the way I want to play it.
Yagami: But the violin is is different.
Yagami: I think about how to express the emotions, the color, warmth, and sense of a song with my fingers and bow.
Yagami: I think about how to make the violin sing the song the most enchantingly. About how to convey that to the audience.
Yagami: At those times, it's best to be empty.
Yagami: Liking, hating, having fun, being annoyed, wanting to show off, all those things disappear.
Yagami: My own body becomes a space for the sound to resonate.
Yagami: The more I get rid of mundane thoughts, the more I feel like I get a clear and strong sound.
Yuki: ...Ah. An instrument seems kind of sacred.
Yagami: To me it is.
Yuki: I'm a bit surprised.
Yuki: Well, up on stage, you looked like you were really having fun, you know?
Yagami: I did then.
Yagami: That was thanks to you.
Yuki: Me?
Yagami: Right.
Yagami: I held a violin after so long and thought about what I should play as I ran. And like, would my fingers still move?
Yagami: I mean, I was going to suddenly play a solo, right? That was really putting me on the spot.
Yuki: S, sorry.
Yagami: But when I stood on stage and saw you, I suddenly thought I'd play that.
Yagami: All my jumbled up thoughts, bam, they were gone just like that.
Yagami: So, it worked out.
Yagami: Thanks, Asahina.
Yuki: Oh...
Yagami: Well, of course, even for me, it was my first time improvising that much on stage.
Yagami: But, I guess it was because you were with me? It was way fun.
Yuki: Ah...
Yagami: What is it? You're making a weird face.
Yuki: Sorry. I kind of suddenly feel weak.
Yuki: I thought maybe I'd asked too much of you...
Yagami: Huh?
Yuki: I'm really glad...
Yuki: Hey, Yagami. Shun-kun was worried about a lot of things too, but it seems like he got over them this time.
Yuki: Why don't you play the violin for him when you see him again someday? I'm sure that would make him happy.
Yagami: ...
Yuki: It's fine. He'll be happy.
Yagami: ...No. Anything but that.
Yuki: Yagami?
Yagami: After all, playing in front of him is... tough...
Yuki: Why? You don't have to hold back...
Yagami: I'm not holding back.
Yuki: Yagami, why...?
Yagami: Sorry. Even though you're being serious, saying I should do it.
Yagami: But it's impossible for me.
Yuki: I'm asking why...
Yagami: I've never told anyone this before.
Yagami: Not Shun, not anyone...
Yagami: ...During the accident, I was going to turn my back on Shun.
Yuki: Huh?
Yagami: A kid was in danger. I realized it right away, but I stopped myself.
Yagami: Forget it.
Yagami: You should leave it alone.
Yagami: It's too risky to get involved in an accident.
Yagami: You might not be able to play the violin anymore.
Yagami: Even though a kid's life was at risk right on front of me, I was thinking those things.
Yuki: But... you saved him, didn't you?
Yuki: You flew out into the road to save Shun-kun, didn't you?
Yagami: Yeah...
Yagami: In the end, my scrap of a conscience won out.
Yagami: I carefully put my violin on the sidewalk, then went to save Shun.
Yuki: That was... just an instant, wasn't it?
Yagami: Yeah. An instant. More than enough time to take his legs.
Yuki: ...*gasp*
Yagami: If I hadn't stopped to think, if I'd thrown my violin down, if I'd immediately gone to help him...
Yagami: Maybe Shun's legs wouldn't have been hurt.
Yuki: ...That's possible, but...
Yagami: Shun can't walk with his own legs anymore because of the damage from the accident.
Yagami: Just as he said, he's ended up with limitations other guys don't have.
Yuki: That wasn't your fault...
Yagami: Even I can't avoid feeling pity about that.
Yagami: But what Shun feels about that, and how he's going to live his life from now on, that's his own problem.
Yagami: Whatever the circumstances, others shouldn't dictate how he lives.
Yagami: In the end, how he lives is completely up to him.
Yuki: Yeah... I think so too.
Yagami: The problem is me.
Yuki: Yagami?
Yagami: Until then, the violin was the most important thing to me.
Yagami: But, that time, it really hit me.
Yagami: Whether it was really 'the most important thing.'
Yagami: For me back then, it was worth more than a ten year old kid...
Yagami: The violin was worth more than a person's life...
Yuki: *gasp*...
Yagami: It was an unfortunate accident, it had nothing to do with me, I was going to pretend I didn't see it.
Yagami: Was that really okay...?
Yagami: No way. That's bullshit, I think.
Yagami: Still, the violin speaks inside my head.
Yagami: It was for the best, it says...
Yuki: Yagami...
Yagami: When I hear that voice, my head hurts.
Yagami: I don't want to think about anything anymore. I shut my eyes, I cover my ears... I black out and fall asleep...
Yagami: In my dreams, I'm playing the violin.
Yagami: It makes a hideous noise I've never heard before... So bad I want to throw the violin.
Yagami: But my fingers and arm keep moving, against my will.
Yagami: Some thick, rotting stuff overflows from the inside of the violin that's supposed to be hollow...
Yagami: It completely covers my fingers, my face. I'm desperate to throw it, but I can't stop playing.
Yagami: Somehow, since that accident, that dream has become the only one I have.
Yuki: That's why you stopped wanting to play the violin?
Yagami: Yeah.
Yagami: I ran away.
Yagami: I discovered metal, I switched to guitar.
Yagami: In the end, I couldn't quit music.
Yagami: I used the guitar to run away.
Yuki: Run away...
Yagami: ...Well, it wasn't like it was awful every day.
Yagami: In fact, there were lots of fun times.
Yagami: Ever since I was kid, my whole life was devoted to the violin.
Yagami: All I did all day was play the violin.
Yagami: For the first time, I realized all the different things I could do in that same day.
Yagami: I'd even been skipping PE, saying I'm not interested in sports, I don't want an injury.
Yuki: I see. So you participated in the Gourmand Cup and the Bell One with me.
Yagami: That's right. If not, I wouldn't have been in the Gourmand Cup or anything.
Yuki: I guess you wanted to participate.
Yagami: Ha... Even though I was running away... I enjoyed it...
Yuki: But I thought participating was really important to you, wasn't it?
Yuki: I'm sure you needed that sort of thing.
Yagami: Really? It's just like you to be so overly optimistic.
Yagami: But, at night I can't take it.
Yuki: Um... because you have nightmares?
Yagami: Yeah...
Yagami: I don't want to play it. I don't even want to see it. But the violin... it whispers to me.
Yagami: Come on, hurry. Pick me up.
Yagami: Shun's legs... are bent backwards and it's standing on them.
Yagami: This is your stage, it says.
Yuki: Yagami...
(Yuki: This is what's been hurting Yagami the whole time...)
Yagami: I run and run and run. But it chases me.
Yagami: So in the end, I'm holding it, that thing.
Yuki: That thing... you mean the violin in your dreams?
Yagami: Yeah. I've picked it up and it says smugly,
Yagami: Your fate is to keep playing me your whole life.
Yagami: I don't want to play it. My music isn't that disgusting sound.
Yagami: But still, no matter how much I struggle, I'm sure that thing will keep whispering to me for the rest of my life.
Yagami: I can't escape that voice.
Yagami: Every night, every night... until I die!
Yuki: ...*gasp*
(Yuki: This is... this is the first time I've seen Yagami like this.)
(Yuki: I'd wondered if there was something, but,)
(Yuki: That he was hurting like this...)
(Yuki: What should I do?)
(Yuki: What should I do to take away Yagami's pain?)
Yuki: Yagami... I know it's painful... but a dream is a dream.
Yuki: There's no one blaming you.
Yuki: Saying until you die... you're overthinking it.
Yagami: ...Overthinking, huh.
Yagami: If I could feel like that, I'd have gotten over it a long time ago!!
Yuki: ...*gasp*
Yagami: It's just a bad dream... that makes me want to scream so bad I can't stand it.
Yagami: I wish I'd lost the ability to play music instead.
Yuki: Oh no...
(Yuki: Yagami... is that really how you feel?)
Yagami: You want to know why I won't get surgery on my ear?
Yagami: Because there's no point anymore to being able to hear.
Yagami: Screw the violin!
Yuki: Stop it!!
Yuki: This isn't how you really feel, is it...?
Yuki: But the more you talk, the more you seem to be hurting...
Yagami: Asahina...
Yuki: You don't have to like the violin. If it's painful, you can run away.
Yuki: But I don't want to hear you saying that you're denying the violin!!
Yuki: I can't completely understand your pain since I'm an amateur when it comes to music.
Yagami: Then...
Yuki: But! Even though it's only been for a short time, I've tried to always watch you.
Yuki: When you told me about when you were a kid and played the violin with your family...
Yuki: I was surprised by your expression.
Yuki: Back then, you were telling me your most treasured memories.
Yuki: That's how I felt.
Yagami: That's...
Yagami: That's just stuff from when I was a kid.
Yuki: Still...
Yagami: Because I was just a stupid kid, I didn't think about anything and just innocently played.
Yagami: I'm different from back then.
Yuki: Yagami... are you denying your former self?
Yuki: That's not like you.
Yuki: I don't want to hear that coming from you.
Yagami: Shut up. Skip the empty words...
Yuki: I don't want to hear it!!

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